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Zombies, and You!
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JSM



Joined: 02 Nov 2005
Location: The league of Unkind Intentions HQ

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 12:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, it was a frantic attempt to say something witty, I'm not surprised if it made little sense.
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timborino
Keeper o' the Shrub


Joined: 05 Feb 2005
Location: San Antonio Managing: Fantastic Rooting: Spurs

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 12:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It seems like the two best zombie-killing weapons ever haven't actually been invented - the lightsaber, of course, and the chainsaw machine gun from Gears of War.

I suppose stocking up on guns and ammunition is a good plan, but in the case of a world-wide event, I can't imagine guns being nearly enough. A sharp object is really ideal and a lightsaber is even better. If I was in my house when the attack came, I'd definitely be grabbing the brooms and shovels and turning them into pikes/spears.

Don, I wonder about your Wal-Mart plan, simply because it seems like any survivor would also think of that. I guess it would give you company; you'd just have to be extra vigilant to make sure no one did anything stupid.

I think a modified school bus might be the way to go. Plenty of room for storage and you'd be constantly mobile. It would be important to have some helpers (preferably good snipers) when it was time to stop for gas and potty breaks.
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Count Blockula
Undead Undead Vampire Zombieraiser


Joined: 04 Feb 2005
Location: IN UR VEINS & IN UR BRAAIINNSS!

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 12:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

knapplc wrote:
DaVille2007 wrote:
Or make them listen to Barry Manalow or Dan Fogelberg sure to send them back to the grave.

You say Barry Manilow like that's a bad thing. I own his Greatest Hits album, and I can sing 'Mandy' by heart.

I can't recall offhand how old you are, but I'm 32, and I think pretty much anyone in my age bracket owns that LP. Very Happy

As for a zombie contingency plan, I've outlined mine pretty clearly multiples times over the years. But, I will reiterate. I know zombies are slow, and I'm pretty awesome. But, as much as I'd like to think I'm invincible, I know I'm not. So, I've committed myself to self-sacrifice, for the good of the community as a whole.

MY ZOMBIE PLAN:
Find myself a nice bar. Either one that is in a location where a zombie horde is likely to descend upon, or create some type of ruckus to attract the horde to where I am. Either way, the plan is to get as many zombies into the bar as possible. Me, I'll be behind the bar. As I indulge in one last monumental liquid indulgence of massive strength and proportion, I'll spew forth some incredibly witty one-liner that history will never record but will nevertheless be 100% pure awesomesauce, and then initiate an incredible explosion that will ignite the contents of the establishment, which includes both the bottled AND the undead. It'll be a massive blaze of glory that will mean instant death for me and instant annihilation of a huge bunch of zombies -- my last act of heroism. Hopefully, it'll be enough to provide my loved ones, as well as total strangers, the opportunity to flee to safety. And, if in the process, my tale of incredible-ness gets passed along to future generations, so be it.
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Scitvs
Praetor Nerdivs


Joined: 15 Nov 2005
Location: Ye olde Tymes

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 12:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I do believe that Mike wins this thread.
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RF Aurora



Joined: 20 Apr 2007
Location: Seneca, IL

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 12:53 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, if my paladin powers would hold me over until I got back to the gateway portal through which I came, then I would seal it and never look back. Maybe reminisce about the loss of new lego sets, but never really look back.
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ZombieSolo
... eats you all. [zMOD]


Joined: 05 Feb 2005

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 2:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Timbo - two things:
Firstly I completely agree with the lightsaber being the penultimate zombie defense weapon while completely disagreeing on the GoW Lancer. Like explosives it would be satisfying as hell, but terribly messy and inefficient.

Secondly I was thinking the same thing about the WalMart Contingency as I last minute shopped for some Halloween goodies. WalMart is the obvious "go-to" place in the even of any disaster, so it would already be ravaged by the time I get to it, and it's rather likely it'll already be occupied by someone. It's still the best option in the area, but given the "stupidity in numbers" effect it might be more temporary than previously planned. No matter though, there are some great new car dealerships out there that would make a nice isolated fallback camp, being huge concrete fortresses themselves. Gather some supplies from WalMart, strike up an agreement to help watch the area while communicating via radios, and let them deal with the mess.
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The Master Zombie
Undead!


Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Location: UK

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 4:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Joedward wrote:
The Master wrote:
Don't Stop Me Now will be playing in the background. Razz


Wut, you only do that at halloween, not all year long, you crazy cats are nuts.


Oh no, Queen is played all through the year. Wink My love for their music is as strong as Al Murray's. Razz

"Cheers!" Very Happy
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ZombieDraykov
Undead!


Joined: 07 Feb 2005
Location: Lone Star State

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 8:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

DonSolo wrote:
Most people are dead or undead, with pockets of survivors scattered trying to figure out the best course of action.


Okay, just be careful. There are bound to be hundreds of smashed up cars full of zombies who don't know how to navigate a parking lot legally.

Quote:
Honestly, you think you'll be able to magically grab any weapons of your choice and have time to build your super impenetrable castle fortresses when you really need all that? Get real people. We're talking about a zombie apocalypse here. And you'd likely get arrested as a terrorist if you try preparing in advance like that.


It pays to have survivalist friends in lightly populated counties on the fringe of civilization. Smile
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Icezombie
Destroyed!


Joined: 05 Feb 2005
Location: NY

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 8:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

An Ocean liner would be pretty sweet, until it ran out of fuel and subsequently ran out of rations.

I would honestly go to a major league baseball stadium. Get the players there to suit up, follow me and wreak havoc with their bats. Imagine Ryan Howard "Headswinging" a zombie. Very Happy
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Lord Of Pies



Joined: 25 Jun 2007
Location: The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 8:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well firstly, I would remove one step from the stairs in my house. This would confuse the zombies, as they stumble and struggle to figure out how to actually get past this missing step.

My brother does archery, so we have a weapon already that could kill, though I am not sure how effective it is against zombies.

Failing that I would hide in my attic, having stocked up on pie and Lego before hand and contemplate life.

And find the uber-cool missing toys such as playstations and the like that are hidden in the loft.
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Zombie Fett
Destroyed!


Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Location: Connection Failed. Please Try Again... Brains.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 31, 2008 11:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Luckily I don't live far from a Naval base and a Military Outpost. And the Naval Post Graduate school. If that even counts. So grab my Dad's truck and my PPK and have my bro in the back with his Remington 30 yauht 6 and his Mauser-Naugat for cover fire. Drive as fast as I can to there. Hopefully we'll be able to get in easily with all the chaos going on. Once in, find any guns and ammo (maybe some armour if theres any) that we can carry easily. Find a Hummvee and if there's none there, I know where a guy keeps one in Fort Ord. Make sure it's full with gas (and if there happens to be a .50 cal on the roof, make sure it's got full ammo and some extra in the back) and then find a 7-11 and stock up on munchies. Then drive to the Ventana Wilderness 'cause it's likely there wont be many zombies there. Then hold out till it's over. Or we could hit up Salinas airport and find a plane and fly to Oakland Airport and grab a International flight to Britian where we can find some old castle that's easy to defend. Yeah.
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JSM



Joined: 02 Nov 2005
Location: The league of Unkind Intentions HQ

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 12:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would most likely just stay out here In South Dakota, There are miles of nothing, And my second story, concrete-walled, heavy doored dorm room seems like a good place to hide out. Not to mention it should not be to hard to find weapons in such an... outdoorsy, state, and the high winds and freezing temperatures make it a hostile environment for zombies.
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Zombie Typo
Undead!


Joined: 01 Dec 2007
Location: Trapped inside a quadrilateral receptacle that is in front of you.

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 2:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is going to be really long. Just warning you...

Well, I would- Wait a minute. We are talking about those stupid, slow, *insert time of day here*-of-the-Dead zombies right? Well, assuming we are, I have to agree with Don here. I personally don't have a shotgun or an M-16 sitting in my basement or closet. So I'd mimic Timbo, and make weapons out of what I already have. (When life gives gives you a lamp, make a zombie branding iron.) Then, since there's hardly ever anything to eat at my house, I would have to go somewhere for food I can prepare myself. (During the day, of course.) Since the mall only has a food court and an Orange Julius, that's out. I'll probably end up going to Wal-Mart as opposed to a food store, because that has weapons inside in case I lose the ones I already have with me during an attack. After that, I'll have to drive. Far, far away. But since one of our car's battery dies every other time we take it out to drive, and my dad's Civic is falling apart, I'll have to go get something else. Fortunately, my town happens to be one of the few towns with a Lotus dealer in it. Guess what kind of car I'm going to get? Then I'll try and make for the coast, where I'll get a boat of some sort and isolate myself from land (With provisions of course). God knows that with the way zombies walk, they sure as shell prob'ly can't swim...
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Iare Zombite
Undead!


Joined: 04 Feb 2005
Location: Between chair and monitor.

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 2:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Unfortunately being unable to hear "zombie cry" of BRRRAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINS I would probably die. If I manage to escape them, I would go to nearest weapons store and try my best to escape region and survive... Oh well. Wink
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Zombie Fett
Destroyed!


Joined: 20 Jan 2008
Location: Connection Failed. Please Try Again... Brains.

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 3:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Find a Nuclear Sub, then proceded to fire all the Nukes at random spots where you think there might be zombies. "Oh gee, I'm betting theres some zombies in San Francisco right now". Wink
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Lord Of Pies



Joined: 25 Jun 2007
Location: The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 4:51 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cali Fett wrote:
Find a Nuclear Sub, then proceded to fire all the Nukes at random spots where you think there might be zombies. "Oh gee, I'm betting theres some zombies in San Francisco right now". Wink


The last bit sounds fun, so I'm in, but I hear getting hold of nuclear powered submarines is kinda hard. And actually knowing how to use it.
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Zombie Fett
Destroyed!


Joined: 20 Jan 2008
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 4:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think if we flip a couple of switches labeled "ON" and "OFF" and hit as many red buttons as we can, we'll do fine. That's just my theory though...
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DestructiveZombie
Undead!


Joined: 23 Sep 2006
Location: City of Evil, Canada

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 7:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Flame Thrower. Not saying it will be the most effective method, but if your going to be ripped apart by flesh eating zombies, might as well have some fun with it and torch a few of them Razz

And the main thing I would NOT do, is split up into small groups, and trap myself in a small place like a Pub. Not mentioning any names...
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The Master Zombie
Undead!


Joined: 18 Aug 2007
Location: UK

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 7:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You mean me? Razz

I only got the idea from Shaun of the Dead (as you saw in my posted pictures). If it came to the worst, you could go in the cellar, help yourself to the beer and die happy. Of course, you'd be quite drunk and unaware of the zombie munching on your left arm. You don't feel pain when you're sloshed. Laughing

Looking at things realistically, I'd probably just grab a ladder and climb up onto the roof with as much food and water as possible, a radio, my mobile and a cricket bat. Then? I dunno. Neutral I'd watch the show unfold and hope a farmer comes down the road on his tractor with a loaded shotgun. Laughing Those zombies won't think about climbing onto my roof unless they've been talking to the creepy half-dead villagers from Resident Evil 4. Shocked
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Zombie Hawk
Undead!


Joined: 21 Mar 2007
Location: In a sock under your bed.

PostPosted: Sat Nov 01, 2008 8:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Defending myself from relentless zombie attacks really simple, in my opinion. I'll just round up a whole bunch of my buddies and we would all arm ourselves with these:



And maybe a few full automatic grenade launchers. And maybe we can hire a few Spetsnaz with shotguns. Or ninja wizards. That would be awesome.
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JSM



Joined: 02 Nov 2005
Location: The league of Unkind Intentions HQ

PostPosted: Sun Nov 02, 2008 10:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh my God...

Red Hawk, I swear on my life, last year me and my friends where deciding what would be the ultimate zombie killing weapon. And while the chainsaw rocket launcher was not it, it was voted our favorite.

To see it as a blueprint was shocking, like it was pulled straight from my imagination. You win the thread. Shocked
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Zombie Hawk
Undead!


Joined: 21 Mar 2007
Location: In a sock under your bed.

PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 7:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sweet! ::D:
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Inquisitor



Joined: 08 Feb 2005

PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 8:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

After the release of the Dawn of the Dead remake my friends and i decided that we should make a zombie contingency plan. In Australia there is a large hardware chain called Bunnings which has massive warehouse size stores complete with outdoor gardening and landscaping area which is surrounded by a six foot tall concrete wall and a eight foot tall chainlink electrified fence with barbed wire! Sounds crazy but its what we got....

Where i live there is one of these Bunnings stores right next to the biggest shopping mall in South Australia. The mall has everything except firearms as tight gun laws are in place in Aussie, but we do have lots of crossbows and LOADS of bolts. Plus theres a camping store that has swords, knives, axes and friction lock nightsticks. In addition they have body armour, camo, safety gear and camping gear.

So basically we get inside the hardware store lock it up nicely and use the mall as a supply base. There is a bus terminal within the complex so if we can nab one we can beef it up with sheet metal and what ever. For fresh food we can use all the potting mix and other supplies in the garden area to grow vegetables and fruit. They sell water tanks so its only a matter of connecting them up to the gutter to collect water. They also sell generators and solar panels for electricity.

There is a huge chain link gate for people to pick up heavy things like wood and steel. We can use the gate for bringing in vehicles but this would probably be the weakest point of the perimeter. The building is surrounded by a great expanse of carpark on 3 sides so visibility should be good. Theres also a council depot and a police station within 3km so we have access to heavy equipment and possibly some firearms.

The moment we find out that the zombie apocalypse has started we have a codeword that we will sms to everyone that knows about it which lets them know to tell their family, grab all the supplies they can and get to Bunnings as fast as possible. Everyone has bolt cutters so no matter what we can get past the fence.

Thats pretty much it. With enough building supplies to last us a long while, plus a shopping mall less than 500m away and access to supplies galore i think its a pretty solid plan.
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Joedward
Hoover


Joined: 23 Jun 2005

PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 8:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quite frankly I haven't thought very much about my contingency plan in case of zombies, I like to think I'd make it up in the spot and live purely through blind luck.

Other question, if you yourself were to become zombiefied, who would be your first target, or your last before imminent death ensued?
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General Veers



Joined: 30 Jan 2006
Location: Getting on board the next flight to FBTB II

PostPosted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 8:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My first target would be the president of the time. Remove the human leaders, and they shall crumble before our wrath!
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